I'm a big kid now.

Some atheists don't like the word atheism because it gives too much credit to theism. After all, we don't have special words for people who don't believe in Zeus, gnomes, or the Easter Bunny. One alternative a lot people like is humanism, which just sidesteps the whole deity question and focuses on human issues. The trouble with that is that there is more to life than just other humans. Others like naturalism. This is my personal favorite. Naturalism is a philosophical viewpoint that simply rejects the supernatural. If what you're saying has no basis in nature and observable reality, you shouldn't be taken seriously. Even if there were an omnipotent yet short-tempered sky-god who created our world, he would be a natural, albeit incredible, being. All of his powers would have a natural explanation, just like David Copperfield's. It's a great philosophy, in my opinion, but the problem with it is if you tell someone you're a naturalist, it sounds more like you're a 19-century artist than an atheist.

There's nothing out there that really sums up what we all want to say in one word: Well, if you must know, technically, I'm an atheist, but I resent even being asked such a primitive question in the 21st century. While were at it, what are your views on Hercules as a half-human/half-god savior or the Shinto creation story versus evolution?

But I think I've finally cracked it. Who believes in ghosts and goblins, witches and trolls, spirits and fairies, unicorns and Santa Claus? Who believes in these fairy tales? Children. When you realize that belief in Jesus Christ and Heaven is no more sophisticated than belief in the Peter Pan and Neverland, it seems like overkill to make up fancy words for disbelief. We already have a word for people who don't believe fantastic stories for children: adults.

So the next time someone asks me my religion, I'm going to say something like, "I know I look young, and thank you for asking, but I'm an adult. I stopped putting my teeth under that pillow a long time ago."