What's a guy gotta do to appear to be in distress?

Here's something a real man said in front of a real judge in a real case:

"Ziolkowski testified that he observed a man lying [face down] on the [train station] floor . . . . Ziolkowski testified that the man did not appear to be injured or in distress."

That must be a rough neighborhood where people lie face down on the train station floor and it's not considered a sign of distress.