Tuesday, June 26, 2007

New York Times: News You Already Know

Extry! Extry! Read all about it! New York Times takes well known societal condition and passes it off as neeeews!

I chuckled when I saw this headline mixed in with actual news:
New Poll Finds That Young Americans Are Leaning Left

I don't what's lamer -- that they conducted such a stupidly obvious poll, or that they wasted even more time, money, and black ink "informing" the world of the results.

Tomorrow's front page headline: New Poll Finds That American Men Like Breasts... a Lot

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Jesusland

Here are the lyrics to a song by NOFX called Leaving Jesusland. I've been told the part of Illinois I'll be moving to this summer is a solid part of the Bible Belt. Hopefully, the presence of a large and prestigious university will dull the effect, but I'm not too confident.

We call the heartland not very smart land, IQs are very low but threat levels are high
They got a mandate, they don't want man-dates, they got so many hates and people to despise

In the dust bowl, cerebral black hole, the average weight is well over 200 pounds
I hate to generalize, but have you seen their thighs, most haven't seen their genitalia in a while

Maybe that's why they're so scared of us
We've concerns other than fear of hunger pangs

Queers, transgends, and lesbians, vegans and vegetarians
All you brownish red and yellow ones come and join us on the coast

No longer svelte, they gotta punch new holes in the Bible belt
They've blown out the fire under the melting pot, the red blood of America is starting to clot
No compromise, no sight through others' eyes, they're just flies spreading pieces of shit
You gotta emigrate, stop living in hate, what makes this country great is dwelling on either side

They don't want visitors in Jesusland
They want life canned and bland in the Fatherland

We want people with college degrees, drug use experience and STDs
People with open-minded philosophies, come hug California trees
Cultural revolution now, neo-conservatives run outta town
We're gonna burn Orange County down,
And then we're off to Riverside, Bakersfield and Fresno too, then we're coming after you

The fear stricken, born again Christian, they got a vision a homogenized state
Textbook decline, intelligent design
They got Bill Nye on the list to execrate

They don't want visitors in Jesusland
They want life canned and bland in the fatherland

Punk Rockers and emo kids, people doing things the church forbids
Buddhists, agnostics, and atheists we're moving out of jesusland
Art students and thespians, excluding country, all the musicians
We want all hookers and comedians, nihilists are welcome too

No longer svelte, they gotta punch new holes in the Bible belt

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Somebody please tell the president that grown-ups are alive, too.

"If this legislation became law, it would compel American taxpayers for the first time in our history to support the deliberate destruction of human embryos. I will not allow our nation to cross this moral line."

That was President Bush's justification for his latest veto of an embryonic stem cell research funding bill. What about the the deliberate destruction of human children and adults? American taxpayers have been compelled throughout our history to fund wars that kill thousands and thousands of civilians, most of them as "innocent" as an embryo. You could argue this killing is not deliberate, only "collateral damage," but since such killings are inevitable in war, anyone who engages in war is, if not deliberately killing, at least knowingly causing it. Why is this form of killing acceptable whereas the killing of embryos crosses a "moral line"? Despite what some talking heads will tell you, war is not a necessary evil. Ask Switzerland. Ask Costa Rica. Ask post-war Japan. Much of the world has outgrown our species' barbaric past. We haven't. And yet, our leaders presume to assume moral superiority on issues of life and death, all along ignoring the likelihood that stem cell research could produce treatments for diseases that kill thousands every year.

I'm not suggesting that it's OK to destroy embryos. Maybe it's not. Maybe it does cross a moral line. I'll give you that. But I would suggest that the killing of a hundred thousand Iraqi civilians also crosses that line. So if you're going to play the sanctity-of-life card, please, for the sake of my sanity, at least clean the blood of your hands first. You're getting the cards all dirty.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Hello Baby

Look at what we made.
Link

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Are you a Republican?

First, the formalities: I forgive you. Say five Hail Marys and read the Constitution. Now, on to business...

I've always said, I never met a Texan I didn't dislike. Well, that has changed. I like Ron Paul. He's a Republican from Texas, but he's a good guy. No, seriously. No, really, I mean it. Check out his website. If you're a Republican, vote for him in the primaries. Why? Hmmm... how to appeal to a Republican? Ah! He wants to abolish the IRS. Forget the Republicans. That'll appeal to just about everyone. Now you know why I like him, too.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

I want to be the least incomepent when I grow up.

"With a curve, the 'best and brightest' might actually be just the least incompetent of the incompetent. (But don't tell them that.)" - Atticus Falcon, Planet Law School II